Archives for March 2002

Romeo Must Die

This story stems back to my freshman year in college, spring semester. The hot movie out at the time was Romeo Must Die, starring Jet Li, and Aaliyah. It also featured a teriffic cameo from rapper DMX, how compelling his performance really was, I will relay to you now.

Ok, so the setting is Freshman year. The main players in this story were myself, Pelkey, and Andy. It was a friday night, and we had nothing to do. So we decided to go to see a midnight showing of Romeo Must Die at the Mall of America. So we go there, and we pay for the tickets, and go into a packed theater. Let me describe the demographics of this theater. First off, let me say this. I am a white boy. I have even been called a “sorry ass white boy” before (in 8th grade traveling basketball, a kid called me that).

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When I die, it would be cool to have something like this written on my grave:

And so goes the annals of Jeff Sauer. A dynamic journey of interstellar chaos, mixed with vivid imagery and broken linguistics. Disarray around every corner, lurking in the shadows. Palpable to none. Eclipsed by many. Willing victim of intellectual aspersion. Taking negativity and making it a dispersion. Frequently overlooked, often outshone, but never outdone.

Childhood Flashback: Commercials

Tonight I am going to talk about inaccuracies in commercials. I’ll probably add more to this on a later
date, so keep checking. Here it goes.

Chicken and Stove Top: Remember those commercials from when we were kids and there was this kid doing homework, or something entirely unrealistic like that, and the kid asks his mother “Mom, what’s for dinner tonight?” and the mom was like “why honey, it’s chicken and stove top.” This really excited the kid, and he gives us one of those Macaully Culkin fist pumps and screamed “Yes!” [Read more…]