Random Thoughts on Chipotle:

The Burrito Nazi (the guy who takes orders at chipotle) bears a striking resemblance to “Every Day Eddie” Guardado, closer for your very own MN Twins.

The aformentioned burrito man always screws up my burrito order… I say “Chicken Fajita” and he gives me steak with black beans. So I’m like “dude, I ordered chicken fajita” and he’s like “NO, steak!” and then I say “Listen here Pedro. If you don’t give me a chicken fajita burrito right now, I’m gonna shove a pinto bean so far up your urethra that you’re going to be peeing bloody baked beans for the next month and a half.” Finally, the Burrito Nazi caves in and makes me a Chicken Fajita. Victory me.

I could go to Chipotle for 2 meals a day for a month, and get something new every day. Like I said, I COULD, but I won’t, because I order the same thing EVERY TIME!

Sometimes I’ll just be sitting around, and all the sudden I’ll yell “BARBACOA” for no reason.

If Guacamole was used as currency, Mexico would be a world power. We would be a third world country. It’s weird thinking how things would have been. I guess we should consider ourselves lucky. Lucky like a fox.

I wonder what would happen if I went into Chipotle and yelled “GOOOOOOAAAALLLL!!”

Free Burrito Count: Bill – 4. Jeff – 3. Damn Bill.

Number of times I’ve been asked to put my camera away within chipotle: 1

I will not date a girl if she does not like chipotle.

I’m very close to asking out a woman that works at chipotle. The perks are just too good!

Chipotle started in 1945 by Jimmy L. Chipotle in his backyard. He would cook burritos for vietnam war veterans and homeless women. He then struck it rich in the great stock market crash of 1984 and used the money he made to open up a chain of pet stores. During the poison ivy scare of 1931, Pet Sales dropped to an all time low. Being the Entrepreneur that he was, Jimmy decided to jump right into the mexican business. He decided to name his restaurant Chipotle in honor of his daughter’s new husband, Hector Chipotle. The rest is history.

If you were made out of burritos, would you eat yourself? I know I would!

Scott Weber, 180 pounds, can eat 2 chipotle burritos in one sitting. Jeff Sauer, 240 pounds, struggles finishing one burrito sometimes.

Chipotle has food, beer, women, bathrooms. If they had a bed in the backroom, I’d live there.

About Jeff Sauer

I started blogging in the year 2000, and go in spurts of inspiration followed by long dormancy. I love writing, and your comments keep me going, so comment!

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  1. […] What else could it be, then, that made my shirt smell like cilantro? Another seemingly obvious answer would be Chipotle. As a loyal reader to my blog, I’m sure you’ve noticed my affinity for Chipotle. I’ve written poems, letters, registered a domain name, and even made up stories about Chipotle. Plus, their heavenly rice contains cilantro and rice. Naturally, it would have to be Chipotle that caused my shirt to smell of cilantro, right? […]