Archives for October 2002

Valley Oaks Neighborhood Memories

You know what I hate? I hate the semi retarded kid down the street. You know what I mean, you’re growing up, you have the kids you play sports with, football, basketball, baseball, having the time of your life. Your whole neighborhood is a bunch of normal boys who just want to play some sports. I mean, I crapped sports as a kid. Well, there was always one kid in the neighborhood who didn’t share the same interests as the majority. He was more interested in helping his mom knit sweaters than playing tackle football. He’d rather cross stitch than swing a bat. Yes, this is the semi retarded kid down the street. All of the kids in the neighborhood hated him, all of the parents loved him. You’d avoid him like the plague by coming up with elaborate plans to ditch the degenerate. You’d ride away on your bikes on purpose. You’d tell him to meet you somewhere and go to another place. When he finally did catch up to you, you’d ask him “have you ever played smear the queer?” and then say “here, hold this football”. It made for hours of fun… at least until bones were broken.

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Guide to Chick Flicks

Here are some random observations pertaining to chick flicks.

  1. Many chick flicks are named after old songs. Simply Irresistible, Addicted to Love, Sweet Home Alabama, When a Man Loves a Woman, The Sweetest Thing, Leaving Las Vegas and Pretty Woman to name a few.
  2. Gratuitous bra and panty shots are not only acceptable within chick flicks; they are encouraged. Women are offended when women are exploited and used as sex objects in action and comedy films, but if it is in a chick flick, it is A OK.
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