Printers Suck

From Wikipedia:

Moore’s law is the empirical observation that at our rate of technological development, the complexity of an integrated circuit, with respect to minimum component cost will double in about 24 months.

This is something I learned in computer science classes, and always fascinated me. Basically, you can count on the speed of computer processors doubling every 18-24 months, and the associated production costs being reduced dramatically. So, you, the end user can count on the power of your computer being doubled every 18 months. This is why I always recommend that people get new computers after 2-3 years (those of you with 5 year old computers and say ‘it works just fine for what I do’ are morons and don’t ever call me with a computer question again. EVER!), as well as why you can get computers nowadays for dirt cheap!

While computers have gone down in price, power, quality and usability, I feel that printers haven’t even come close!

Honestly, have printers come down in price or made any significant advancements in the past 8 years? In my opinion; NO! I bought a printer my freshman year in college, and it served one major role; dust collector. I rarely used it because it sucked so bad. $200 down the drain. Fast forward to this year, after going printerless for several years, I decided to give it another whirl, and received a printer for christmas. The price was around the same as what I paid for 6 years ago, so I figured with technological advancements, this printer would be able to do anything! Wrong! The quality wasn’t even close to as advanced as it should have been over the same time period!Granted, the print quality of this printer is a little better than the printer from college, it’s not significant enough to notice. Photos still look like shit when I print them, and documents are sketchy at best.

When it comes down to it, the documents spit out of both of these computers were essentially the same. Both are dust collecting pieces of shit. Even with my current printer, I hardly use it anymore, because each use pisses me off a little more.

From what I can tell, the one major advancement that I have seen to printers in the past 6 years is the fact that you can now get them in different colors! Gone are the days of “computer offwhite” printers that matched your lame-o pre 2001 computer. The printer companies finally decided to make printers match modern computers! Yeah, that’s right, my new printer is grey!!!!!

Stop the fucking presses! Printers now match (at least somewhat) the color of your computer! That is the major development in printers for the past 10 years! Pat yourselves on the back printing industry, you have truly done America a great service! Over the past 6 years, print quality has hardly improved, page per minute printing remains stagnant, and prices have leveled to the $200 range, but guess what?? The color of your printer somewhat matches your computer now!

Much like the discovery of alternative fuel sources, I feel that the printing industry has lagged behind and is pretty much going nowhere. While not as drastic as the oil industry, I can all but guarantee you that the printing industry is doing all that they can to halt the progress of printing. They have everything to lose, since commercial printing is a slowly dying business. So, they pay printer manufacturers to give us strange error messages like “PC Load Letter” and give us crazy “service printer” or “replace toner” messages a week after we take the printer out of the box.

What a joke. Computer chips started out by filling up a 1000 square foot room filled with vacuum tubes and cost billions of dollars to make. Nowadays, a computer chip is roughly the size of a triscuit cracker, and much thinner. It is made out of a wafer of silicon, and has countless microscopic transisters all over it. Prices are a million times less, and the chips are a million times smaller. All of these improvements, and yet I can’t get my printer to make blue look like fucking blue!

Computers get better every year, and yet printers continue to suck.

I hate printers.

About Jeff Sauer

I started blogging in the year 2000, and go in spurts of inspiration followed by long dormancy. I love writing, and your comments keep me going, so comment!

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  1. I love the printer I have…Its a Canon i960 Photo Printer with 6 cartridges. It prints beautifully! Defintely better than any I have had in the past. Still cost me $250