Florida Diary – Day 10

We got up a little late and didn’t do much in the morning. In the afternoon we went to Clearwater Beach for Round 2 of beach hottie action. This time we were a little more prepared, and we had our swimsuits ready and we lathered up with some sun screen. We played some hardcore Frisbee on the beach and enjoyed the wonderful views.

When we got back from the beach, my parents told us that they needed to use the car for the night, so we would be on our own for the night. That sort of sucked, but it was also cool because I wasn’t stuck sober cabbing. Since we didn’t have a car, I decided to give the girl a call to see if she wanted to hang out. She said she was interested in going out, and that she wouldn’t mind picking us up. I didn’t want to have her pick us up at the condo, so I told her that she could meet us at the Conch Republic, our most favoritist place in the world!

After hearing the good sober cab news, we went to the hot tub and drank a crapload of wine! There’s something about a lot of red wine in a hot tub that makes you, well, drunk.

So we’re already buzzed by the time we get to the Conch, and we go to eat some dinner and get some drinks. I had a wonderful Grouper Reuben. It was one of the best sandwiches of my short lifetime. Tyler had something that wasn’t very good. He was so disappointed that he managed to finagle a half of a half of my Reuben. I give the girl a call to see when she is coming to meet us, and she says that she can’t find her keys. Likely story! Tyler was sure that I was being ditched, and I was thinking the same. We finished our drinks and we were at a crossroads. The place where we planned to go that night (the Green Iguana) was far away. So, we could either wait at the condo for the girl to find her keys, or we could walk to the Green Iguana. Tyler wanted to walk, but I voted to play it safe. Guess who won!

So, we embark on a voyage to the Green Iguana. A walk Tyler estimated to be 30-45 minutes. A walk that actually took 1 hour and 30 minutes. This was the longest, craziest, half-drunkenest walk I have ever taken. 4.5 miles in total. Over a mile on a freeway. 3 bridges crossed. Several blisters formed.

We walked through two parks. We walked past a gigantic hospital. We saw countless million dollar homes. We walked through nice parts of town. We walked through trashy parts as well. Tyler told me he’d jump off a bridge for $1000. I told him he was insane. The girl who was supposed to give us a ride called me twice. Apparently I didn’t feel the vibrations. I called her back 8 times. Tyler called her once and left a voicemail. He also texted her 3 times. My camera nearly ran out of batteries. I thought we were going to be kidnapped or killed. Tyler told me I think too much. I told him he was correct.

The walk left us tired, yet also with a sense of satisfaction. It gave us a story we could share for the rest of our lives, and it ended as we originally intended: with us getting some drinks at the Green Iguana!

Let’s just say that upon arrival, we immediately knew that the walk was well worth it. This place was awesome! It was also very large. They had a huge outdoor seating area and a big indoors as well. There was a big place where I like to go after 10+ drinks (aka a dance floor), and the bathroom had a guy handing me towels! All I had was a $5, so I gave it to him and asked for $4 change. Is that cheap?

There was a wedding party at the bar, as well as a bachelorette party. More on this later. Tyler was ON this night. He had quite a few and was very entertaining. He talked to all kinds of girls, and some girls even came down and sat by him. I’ve never seen someone talk so much to strangers about what seemed to be nothing at all. They must have been liking it, though, because they didn’t seem to leave. In fact, even more came and started talking to him, including the bachelorette party! They tried to get him to do body shots, but he wasn’t having it. This continued on for most of the night until we had to move up to the dance area. Up there, Tyler met another girl and she asked him to go dance. I watched him from afar and laughed my ass off while watching him go at it on the floor. After about 10 minutes, she told him he was the worst dancer ever! I told him I wanted to go, so we walked out of the place.

In the parking lot, the girl Tyler was dancing with told us that the next night people were going to Gator’s. He tried to get her phone number so that we could find out what was going on the next day. She gave him the number and he responded “well, what’s the area code”. She said “727”. He said “What was the number again”. She told him. He said “What’s that area code?” She told him. He asked for the number again… she said “what the hell is wrong with you?” and got into her car to drive off.

This wasn’t enough for Tyler! He decided that he needed to call her right away to make sure he had the correct number. So, he calls her, and she responds. She says “I have a rule that guys have to wait 1 and a half days to call me”. He said “Well, I’m leaving soon, so can we make it sooner?”

I love that kid.

About Jeff Sauer

I started blogging in the year 2000, and go in spurts of inspiration followed by long dormancy. I love writing, and your comments keep me going, so comment!

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  1. I can’t believe you guys walked 4.5 miles! I did that once in Vegas with high heels and effed my feet up BAD! Didn’t they have cabs there???