You may recall my previous story “Stage Fright at the Trough“. In this story, I detailed my difficulties performing “#1″ into a gigantic trough at a Minnesota Vikings game. You surely found it hilarious, because my writing is just that: hilarious!

Self-Promotion aside, the reason for my writing today is to tell you about my experiences at another trough, which yielded a much more positive outcome. Yes, I am going to detail my experiences at a Minnesota Timberwolves game where I gained my revenge at the trough.

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Subject: You want to measure your penis but it is afraid of the ruler.
From: bear_71
To: theman@jeffsauer.com

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Trust us; it’s s0 much easier and faster with our Viagra Soft Tabs. With our new Viagra Soft Tabs you will be able to open a bottle of beer with your penis. She thinks you are perfect and a wonderful choice for her.

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I recently had the opportunity to attend a Minnesota Vikings game at the Metrodome. Such a lovely venue for sporting events (obviously sarcasm, since the Metrodome is the worst stadium in the country). The Metrodome is a testament to the era in which it was built. The architecturally atrocious 70’s. A decade sandwiched between the shitty sixties and the eyesore eighties.

That’s right, three straight decades of ugly buildings, and the Metrodome may very well be the centerpiece. The building is made out of more concrete than a city block in East Compton. Sitting in the seats is slightly less roomy and comfortable than being sandwiched between John Madden and Jared from Subway (fat Jared, before he went on the subway diet) on a chair made out of concrete; it’s not a very comfortable experience.

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On Saturday, December 3, 2005, I am participating in my first ever race. While it’s not a very competetive race, and it’s not a long distance, I’m excited to be doing something constructive. It is called the Reindeer Run, and is a 5k. To those of you who are metric system holdouts, that’s somewhere in the 3 mile neighborhood… which nothing but a brisk jog for an iron machine like myself.

My good friend Jen invited me to join her team of runners for the race. Our team consists of her friends from nursing school who share a mutual appreciation for running. Best yet, my buddy Bill decided to join the team as well, so I’m assured of a wingman.

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Finally we’re alone.

The moment is simply magical. We’re five minutes into our first date, and I’m already smitten. Judging by your vibes, I can tell you feel the same way.

My wit shines through with a well placed joke. You laugh hysterically.

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I got this idea yesterday when I braved blizzard-like conditions in a mighty quest for all that is burrito. Yes, I drove 30 minutes through a snow storm just to get a burrito from Chipotle. You see, while most people find fulfillment from petty things such as “relationships” with “other people”, I seek my affection from the one thing that is consistent in my life; the mexican subway.

Anyway, while I was driving there, I thought to myself, what a great idea for a post. List the top 5 best and worst places to be during a blizzard. Then I got lazy and didn’t want to think of 5 answers for each, so now it’s just the best and worst.

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I vow to never talk about work on this blog. The simple reason? People that I work with actually know about my website, and any information I post will be scrutinized by them. The real reason? Because work is too boring to talk about, and I don’t want to put all of you to sleep.

Now I’m not saying my work is boring, because that’s far from the truth. What I’m saying is that talking about work is boring. If I wrote in this blog space that about my day at work, you’d be bored to tears. Let’s test my theory out.

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Those of you who read my Open Letter to Chipotle, may be wondering if I ever received a response to request to bring Chipotle to Roseville. The answer is yes. One of the things they asked me to do in their response was to scout locations for a potential Roseville location.

Until recently, I haven’t been holding up my end of the bargain. I did not even respond to their letter. I guess it was a combination of feeling slighted and laziness. Well, I recently skinny dipped in the motivation pool, and I am once again on a mission to bring Chipotle to Roseville.

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I just got done eating Sushi over at Ichiban, and it was fantastic. $23 for all you can eat Sushi, not a bad price if you ask me. I ate a LOT!

Here is a partial inventory of my Sushi intake:

• Spicy Tuna Rolls - 8 pieces
• Tempura/Tuna/Cream Cheese Rolls - 3 big pieces
• Shrimp Rolls - 2 pieces

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My WBL league fantasy football team is officially my favorite NFL team.

I have been an uncle for two months now, and I think it is the best thing to ever happen to me in my life so far. My niece Annika is so pure and innocent that it makes me want to be a more responsible person. I look at how she starts off life with a clean slate, and I would like to do that for myself in many aspects. I promise not to get self-righteous on you, but I do feel I’m naturally more responsible as a result of uncletude.

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