Do you recall the movie “The Net” starring Sandra Bullock? Remember how crazy it was to have a movie about this big unkown we call “the net”. Everything seemed so new and mysterious. Try watching that movie now. It doesn’t hold up very well.

The above sentence has nothing to do with this post. I just wanted to get that off of my chest. You see, one of the major benefits to being me is that I have some very obscure thoughts. I guess I just don’t think along the same lines of the majority. Or, perhaps, I am just the only one who actually says what they are thinking. Either way, this paragraph also has nothing to do with the subject of this post.

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I think that the ethnicity that provides aspiring actors with the least opportunity for success would be Somali. Why, you ask? Well, that’s simple; there are very few roles in American cinema that provide opportunities for Somali actors. The following essay is meant to prove a point that has been bothering me for the past several years.

First of all, let me give you some background. I didn’t spend much time in Minneapolis until a little over two years ago. Up until this time, I spent almost all of my time in the city of St. Paul. Then two things happened that contributed to my gradual migration to the larger of the Twin Cities. The first event was my gainful employment with Minneapolis Public Schools. The second being less of an event, and more of a gradual process, is that my friends began immigrating to the lovely city of Minneapolis by the dozens. Both of these events led me to more common interactions with a group of people whom I had previously only known about in theory. Yes, I started meeting and interacting with Somali people on a daily basis.

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I always golfed 7-10 rounds a summer since 9th or 10th grade. I was never any good, but it was fun. In college, when money was tight, I’d still golf during summers. It got to the point where I was frustrated at paying $25-40 to be bad at something, so I started playing less. One day, about three years ago, I went golfing at Manitou Ridge in White Bear Lake with my dad and brother. I had a poor round, and was getting frustrated. So, I proclaimed on the 5th hole that this was to be my last round of golf… EVER. The round continued to go poorly until the 9th hole.

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What goes into a name?

Well, traditionally parents gave their children names based on something. Whether it be a family name, or the name means something in another language, children were named thoughtfully. Then came the invention of baby name books, and the whole world got screwed. Gone are the days when girls are named after their grandma Frances, Lenore or Irma, and boys are named after great grandpa Oscar, Roy and Mel; kids are now named after whatever shows up first in a baby book. I dare you to go up to a group of girls in their early twenties and not find at least one girl named Katie, Christen (Kristen, Kristin), Jenny, Ashley, or some derivative of these names.

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Random Thoughts on the mother of all holidays.

Why do we call it Thanksgiving? Who are we giving thanks to? Are we showing our thanks to our relatives by eating their food? Does pumpkin pie mean that you’re more thankful than pecan pie? If you go up for 8ths on green bean casserole, does that mean that you are the most thankful of all? If that is the case, then I am the most thankful person in the world!

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Here are some random observations pertaining to chick flicks.

1. Many chick flicks are named after old songs. Simply Irresistible, Addicted to Love, Sweet Home Alabama, When a Man Loves a Woman, The Sweetest Thing, Leaving Las Vegas and Pretty Woman to name a few.
2. Gratuitous bra and panty shots are not only acceptable within chick flicks; they are encouraged. Women are offended when women are exploited and used as sex objects in action and comedy films, but if it is in a chick flick, it is A OK.

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Here is a question for all of you Warren G fans out there: Are we still in the G funk era?

Or is it over with? Do you think historians will study the early 90’s and refer to it as the “G funk era”? Will Nate Dogg be looked at as a prophet? Is he the Elijah of our time? These questions must be answered Warren! You can’t just put out a revolutionary album like this and not keep us updated as to the status of the so called “G funk era”. I feel the track “94 ho draft” is an example of how Warren G is calling upon his disciples and is literally drafting women to join his G funk cause. The song “Do you see” where he says “You don’t see what I see, everyday as Warren G,” is an obvious reference to his omnipotence. As with many cults, Warren G’s proposal for the world to join him in his “G funk era” has been met with resistence throughout the years. But with over 4 million people buying into his “Regulate… G funk era” plan, only time can tell how this groundbreaking album will be viewed by future generations.