I hate local news.

And since I am down to two f*ing television channels that I am allowed to watch, I am forced to fill my craving for t.v. with thirty minutes of local news, and I must say that tonight’s 6 o’clock news was my swan song. The first fifteen minutes went something like this: “It’s really cold outside. I mean, seriously. It’s cold. Let’s go down to Steve Schmuck who is outside.

How cold is it Steve ? It’s pretty cold. Let’s interview Paula Douchbag. What do you think about this weather Paula ? I just can’t believe how cold it is. Back to the booth. Wow, is it cold. Let’s go to the weatherman. Look at how cold it is. Can you believe it ? Up north…it’s even colder. Yep, everybody better wear a lot of layers because jeepers creepers is it cold out there. And tomorrow, my forecast is..it’s going to be pretty f*ing cold, so again. Wear a coat. Back to the booth.

My god is it cold, let’s go down to some other guy who can tell us how cold it is. I hope you’re wearing a coat guy. I am, and I’m damn happy that I am because if I wasn’t, I’d be even colder than I am right now, which is pretty cold. And these people downtown are pretty damn cold too. Who would have thought that it would be cold in Minnesota on January 29th. Back to the booth.

Well anyone who could have predicted this, should have gone to Vegas. Well, time for commercial, and dammit don’t go outside during this break cuz it’s cold out. After the commercial (this is the only part that is verbatim) we are going to have some tips on how to stay warm.” Tips ?!?!? F*ing tips on how to stay warm. Just in case you have no idea. I couldn’t even believe it. Fifteen minutes of how cold it is. This f*ing s**t is another item on the long list of things that piss me off about MN. Right in between the State Fair and the Ice Palace, which get Super Bowl coverage. Alright, I just needed to vent.