The Jeff Sauer Experience v7.0

1. I think I could be a stand up comedian, but my jokes would be filthy. Sort of like Bob Saget in the Aristocrats. You wouldn’t see it coming (unless you’ve been to bachelor parties with me). Speaking of Bachelor Parties, I once had a flex off at 4 AM with my buddy Kev. Neither of us were worthy of a victory, so it will go down in history as a tie.

Most Underrated Movie Ever?

2. It is quite possible that I am the biggest fan of the movie Cable Guy in the world. I genuinely think that it’s a hilarious movie. Plus the fact that it bombed in the box office and a lot of people didn’t like it just adds fuel to the fire. America just wasn’t ready for Cable Guy!

3. I have gone to several countries without a plan. Each time I was able to get around via public transportation and order food by pointing at menus. Now that I think about it, I guess I did have a plan for where I’m staying, so saying I have no plan was a lie.

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Random Cable Guy, Corvette, Ditka, Heroes 2, Kristi, Nieces, Random

See part 1 here

I spend a lot of time on the web. Most of it is business related, but I do take time away to play. Here are some more of my favorite sites:

Site:

Stuff White People Like

Synopsis:

This site has gained a TON of momentum over the past several weeks, and rightfully so; it’s hilarious! Very insightful, yet ultimately self deprecating, Stuff White People Like is a blog that chronicles the nuances that go into the decision making process of the average white (and I would assume affluent, 25-45 year olds) person. Hilarity generally ensues. The writing isn’t particularly laugh out loud funny, but if you can have a sense of humor about yourself, it becomes hilarious as you begin to see bits and pieces of yourself in the writing.

Signature Post:

Most posts can be given signature status, but two recent posts really made me laugh out loud. The first is the post about the Wire, which is a great television show. This article easily could have been written about me. The second is about hating corporations. Since I’m not the biggest fan of corporations, this one fits me as well (although often for different reasons than outlined in the article).

Site:

Jake and Amir Dot Com

Synopsis:

One of the stupidest sites on the web, but I absolutely love it. Jake and Amir are two guys who work for College Humor. Every few days they post a video that’s about 1-3 minutes long, and it details Amir’s unhealthy man-crush on Jake. The videos are all a little odd, and make me laugh about 90% of the time. Not everyone will think this site is funny, but if you like the one I’m posting, chances are you’ll like them all.

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Random favorite websites, jake and amir, photoblog 2.0, stuff white people like, tk on toast, unnecessary quotation marks

I started writing this on Thanksgiving, but forgot to finish until now

While I feel that I am an excellent long term planner (far beyond my years, actually), I am not very bright when it comes to planning for the short term. Generally I’m resourceful enough to overcome this lack of planning ability, but sometimes things are beyond my control. Case in point, Thanksgiving.

This year I was going to family Thanksgiving in St. Cloud like my family does every other year. I’m at the point now where I’m old enough that I am required to bring a side dish of some sort to family functions, and this time my mission was cranberry sauce. Naturally, I forgot that I was supposed to bring something, and didn’t buy Cranberry sauce during the week as I should have.

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Random cranberries, forgetfulness, thanksgiving

In honor of the new post rating system that I implemented this weekend, I thought I would compile a list of my 10 favorite posts in the history of this site.

10. I believe
Me in a nutshell. In this post I outline my beliefs, which are inane, petty and often far-fetched. If you ever wanted to know what I stand for, read this one!

9. Romeo Must Die… So Must Whitey
I thought I was going to see a movie, but I ended up being scared for my life. Find out why.

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Random

Please note that this is my 100th post on this site! I celebration of that feat, I am adding a new feature. Read on.

I have been publishing stupid stories on my web site since 2000. It started when I was in college doing web design at St. Thomas. I made a site on the St. Thomas server (It was iss.stthomas.edu/sauerw to be exact), and used Cold Fusion to post my thoughts for my friends. The only way you could get to the site was through my AOL Instant Messenger profile (sowcow50). People started reading my site for whatever reason, and I started to get a decent number of people who would email me/call me/talk to me at parties saying that they had read my web site and thought it was funny. So, I kept on posting, and it has gone from there. Some months I would post every day, but ever since I graduated college, my post frequency has declined to a high of 1-2 posts a month to a low of one post a quarter (with the exception of my travel diaries, which are often posted daily).

I guess I just created this site to write stuff. There was no commercial intent, no real reason for the site at all, other than to just write stuff when I was bored. Somehow it has caught on among people that I know and don’t know, and now I get thousands of visitors a month, and the number of visitors increases each and every month! I swear that I don’t even know that many people, but somehow people keep coming back.

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Random announcement, posts, update, voting

I am a huge South Park fan, so when I saw this on Youtube, I was pretty happy![youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSb1Orv_shE[/youtube]

This was pretty much all that I said for an entire year circa 2004.

Random

I decided to buy a new car.

Check it out. A 2008 Infiniti G37 Coupe.

Pretty. Freaking. Sweet.

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Random

So technologically speaking, I have been feeling sorry for myself a lot lately. I haven’t been posting on here very often, I have been extremely busy with work, and I have been falling behind with work for my clients. My whole plan for the summer was to work less and enjoy the awesome summers of Minnesota. I have not lived up to that plan!

To go along with my present work overload, I had some very unfortunate events happen with my computer. First, the hard drive on my laptop crashed this weekend, and I lost about 6 months worth of work files, pictures and other media! That’s a really really really bad thing! My computer is my life, and having my hard drive crash is devastating to say the least! To top that off, I have a stupid iPhone and somehow that stopped working as well, and I lost all of my phone numbers and email addresses!!!! From a technological standpoint, life pretty much sucks right now.

On the bright side, I have a wonderful girlfriend who is supporting me through all of this, and I did have a lot of my vital data backed up on my computer. So, although the crash has killed my productivity over the past week, it could be worse.

Then I turned on the news tonight, and all of my problems came into perspective. As I’m sure all of you already know, a bridge on Interstate 35W collapsed right over the Mississippi river, and several cars were plunged into the water and onto the ground below. I have been glued to the news ever since (it happened less than 2 hours ago), and I just can’t believe what happened.

I also am thankful that I was not involved, because this is a road that I travel 3-4 times a week! It is my main entry point to Minneapolis and the south Twin Cities area (one of the only roads that I can take to get around town), and now it is gone! Since it just happened so suddenly, I have no idea if there are any casualties or how many people are injured. I have called several of my friends to see if they are OK, and so far I think that things are fine.

It will take some time for things to settle down from this crazy incident, but I know one thing; it really puts my petty problems into perspective.

Random

I’m not sure how this post will turn out, but I thought it would be fun to talk to you about a language I have picked up gradually during my life. The language is called l33t sp3@k (elite speak in English) and is the universal language of all people who are 1337!

What is 1337 you ask? That is a good question. I’ll start with my personal definition, and then send you a link to Wikipedia so that you can read the official definition (likely written by some guy in his underwear in ‘Jersey).

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Random

I guess it’s something that’s out of my control, but I just thought I’d let you all know that I pretty much can’t grow facial hair. Well, I guess that’s not fully true. I can grow hair on my face, but it’s not very visible. I’m writing this post right now because I am at the peak of my most unshaven point in my adult life. Yes, I haven’t shaven for 5 days.

This is the longest that I have gone without shaving since I’ve been an adult, although I’m sure that you probably wouldn’t notice, even after looking at the picture on the right hand side of your screen. This picture was taken today, right before I started writing this post, and it is the inspiration for my rant. The last time that I shaved was on Saturday. Today is Wednesday, and this is all the facial hair growth that I could muster. That’s 5 days of unadulterated growth, and I still look like a man envious of a 13 year old Mexican boy!

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Random