This post was written on my 29th birthday. May 18, 2010.
I have long considered 2004 the worst year of my life. Sure, a lot of good things happened this year (I bought my first house and my brother got married), but I was miserable.
Maybe it was the fact that I was severely overweight (I weighed 295+ pounds). Maybe it was the fact that I was very bitter over a failed relationship. Maybe it was the $10,000+ I had amassed in credit card debt. Maybe it was the fact that one of my best friends, a star athlete who seemed to be in perfect health, was diagnosed with cancer at age 23. Whatever it was, life in 2004 seemed to be a series of bad outcomes with little end in sight.
Read more…
Stories
motivation

I waited in line for 2 hours to buy the first iPhone the day it came out. I bought the second iPhone (the iPhone 3G) within 1-2 months of when it came out (AT&T subsidized it)… and I recently bought the iPhone 3GS when I was in San Francisco.
As the story goes, I was leaving Silicon Valley to go to SF when my phone battery died. Rather than buying a charger, I bought a phone at the Flagship Apple store in Union Square. Although it sounds like a major exercise in excess, I must add that I had intended to buy the phone when I got back to MN, and the poor battery performances simply forced me to play my cards sooner.
The phone purchase experience from Apple was exemplary, and I really had no problems. In fact, I’m enamored with Apple for producing such an amazing piece of hardware. Really, I have no beef at all with the phone; just the service provider. Read more…
Stories
Apple, AT&T, iPhone, iPhone 3GS
During the (rare) occasions that I see my readers in person, a common sentiment I hear is “you talk about Chipotle way too much!” Well, I guess I am sorry, but I write about the things I love.
Fortunately, I don’t have bad break-ups more than once a year, so I need some material to plug on this blog in order to keep it afloat (and yes, I realize that it is barely afloat, but fuck off if you’re going to give me a guilt trip). Unfortunately, my fat ass eats Chipotle like 14 times a week, so it is usually what I am doing when it comes time for blog posting.
Read more…
Stories
arizona basketball, arizona wildcats, lute olson
My Grandparents have been married for 60 Years, and this past Sunday my Grandpa was asked to MC/Speak at the party. The speech went over very well. Everyone laughed when I had hoped they would (and sometimes when I didn’t expect it) and I got a little emotional at the end… and from what I hear, there weren’t many dry eyes in the audience. Thought I’d post it on here in case anyone wanted to read about my awesome grandparents.
Hello, my name is Jeff Sauer, Grandson of Norb and Lenore, and welcome to our celebration of 60 years of marriage between Lenore and Norby, or as we affectionately call them; Lenorby.
I will be your master of ceremonies for this event, and I hope that you’ll soon find that you are in good hands. Grandpa chose me to host this event because he says I remind him of a young Bob Hope.
I have no idea what that means, but I am taking it as a compliment.
Read more…
Stories
anniversary, golf, grandparents, insurance sales, speeches
Here are some general emotions that everyone goes through in their mind when they first learn of their breakup.
- “No big deal – she’s probably not serious and I bet we’ll be back together…. we looked hot together!”

- “WTF??? I didn’t even get to have break up sex?”

Read more…
Stories
*Update*
While the thoughts in this story remain true, the “happy ending” vibe is no longer.
*Original Story*
This story is dedicated to everyone who listened to me during the times where I had poor luck with girls. Thank you for telling me to “hang in there” and for those of you said “one day, it will just happen, and it will be wonderful”. Although your words seemed so far from reality at the time, I can now truly say that they came true. And it is indeed wonderful.
Note: This story is three months in the making, and long overdue.
It took me so long to write this story that some details may be a little fuzzy or even embellished, but the premise remains true; this is the story of how I met my girlfriend.
Saturday was St. Patty’s day. I celebrated my 1/8th Irish heritage with nearly a full bottle of Jameson whiskey. I started drinking at around 10 AM, and ended up getting a sick and passing out in the back seat of my car at around 4 PM. Let’s just say I overdid it a little!
Read more…
Stories
I recently posted this on the Gopher Sports Blog
Given the recent struggles of the Minnesota basketball program, it is difficult to look back and remember the success of years past. As we are approaching the 10 year anniversary of the last Gophers basketball team of significance, I would like to take this opportunity to look back on a coaching career filled with many victories, fewer losses, and a scandal that sent a basketball program into the Big Ten basement. Yes, I am going to write about Clem Haskins, the subject of my heterosexual man crush as a teenager.
Before the academic scandal broke out at the U of M, the Gophers spent much of the nineties building a nationally recognized and respected basketball program. Clem Haskins was the mastermind behind building the Gophers program, and he did so by recruiting some of the best basketball players in the state of Minnesota (Sam Jacobson and John Thomas), great players from other states (Quincy Lewis and Voshon Leonard) and ready to contribute junior college transfers (Bobby Jackson).
Read more…
Stories
Within the next few days, my friend Molly Walsh will be leaving to go to medical school on an island called Dominica. She will be gone from the US for a long time, and I’m not sure when I’ll see her next. There was a going away party for her in Chicago last weekend, but I was unable to attend. So, I’m going to send Molly off in the only way I really know how: I am going to write about her.
For those of you who don’t know Molly, she’s a good friend of mine from college who came to the Twin Cities from Chicago and ended up moving back to Chicago after college. She’s a really smart and fun girl, and I’ve spent many a good time hanging out and partying with her both during and after the college experience. In addition to being smart and fun, Molly is also a little crazy. Not crazy in a “burning down her ex-boyfriend’s apartment complex” type of way, but rather “this girl is so much fun that it’s crazy”.
Read more…
Stories
I was almost fired 10 minutes ago.
Let me preface this story by saying that I am working on a retainer for a small marketing company with 4 employees. They are great guys, and I get along with them really well. One of the employees is my good friend Brandon, and he’s the one who helped me find this employment.
Read more…
Stories